Things I have learned from having a baby and having Type 1 Diabetes

I haven't written in so long because I have been so preoccupied with taking care of our little princess! Palmer Brooke was born on Friday, February 13th via C-section and the surgery went smoothly! My blood sugar was perfect and we managed it on our own like real pros. Here is the short list of things I have learned in the last 10 weeks with my happy, healthy, beautiful baby girl.

1. Being a new mom is downright exhausting, it's a new kind of tired, but somehow we all persevere and get up with the baby one more time each and every night. Completely handing the reins over to Daddy on at least one weekend night per week was the best present I have ever received for myself. I pump bottles ahead of time and just let Jordan work on his parenting skills for the overnight shift, he's such a good sport about it.

2. Nothing about diabetes or babies is predictable. ever. I assumed that I would be the one with health issues postpartum. But it was my sweet little baby that had to be in the special care nursery for her first few days of life and then in the general hospital for her first week because of low blood sugar and fluid in her lungs. One of those issues was attributed to my diabetes even though I kept near perfect control.

3. Breastfeeding is SO HARD. Its confusing, frustrating, even painful at first. When all was said and done, it was determined that I do not produce enough milk for my growing baby and we need to supplement with formula as well. Why? Diabetes. Of course. After 3 long weeks of literally sleepless nights (because I was essentially starving my baby unknowingly), my husband and I got flexible, gave some formula and some breast milk at each feeding and we all happily began sleeping longer at night.

4. Sometimes I forget to do basic things I need to keep me alive. For example, sometimes my pump runs out of insulin because I was so pre-occupied with the baby I forgot to change it, or hours go by and I haven't eaten anything because again, I was busy. My blood sugar is lower now than it has ever been due to producing milk, burning extra calories walking around the house at 2AM most nights with a squirmy baby and forgetting to eat. You think that the basics of diabetes and personal care in general are second nature. Then you have a baby and all of a sudden the baby is all that matters. I will put insulin in for my lunch, get interrupted, forget to finish eating and 30 minutes later I have to choose to have a screaming inconsolable infant rather than pass out.

5. Babies hate cribs. At least mine does. The moment I let go of my control freak tendencies and started putting her in a swing to sleep was the moment we all actually got some sleep. She has moved from our room in the swing to the hallway right by her nursery in the swing. We're getting closer every week to getting her to sleep in her own room, but for now, my child sleeps in the hallway because it works and I have decided I am okay with that.

6. Being a mother is beautiful and painful, but basically just beautiful. The sleepless nights, insane blood sugar, forgetfulness and days covered in spit up are all worth  it the second I see that toothless smile.

More than anything, the Lord is teaching me the power of flexibility and letting go of my plans, my priorities and my fears about motherhood. I started giving Palmer a bottle at times when she is sobbing and won't nurse, I started letting her sleep in bed with me on nights that I just couldn't keep my eyes open another second, all things I said I would never do. And you know what? I have a happy, healthy, finally-gaining-weight, beautiful baby girl. She is fed, she is well rested regardless of how we get there, and her Daddy and I couldn't be happier.