10 years

I have been overcoming Type 1 Diabetes for 10 years today. I posted some photos that stuck out to me the most when I think of overcoming diabetes. They are photos filled with life, fun, happiness and new beginnings. Behind each of those photos is a whole lot of planning, checking my blood sugar, guessing, correcting, over-correcting, stressing and finally managing and getting through the diabetes stress to get t the fun part of life. The Lord has lead me through the twisted path that diabetes takes every day and has brought wonderful people into my life as my support system because of it. I am reminded of my first date with my husband specifically. I wanted so badly to have my blood sugar under control and to tell him about diabetes in a calm, collected manner that was ANY OTHER DAY than our first date. What I got instead was having to stuff my purse with granola bars and candy RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM before we left my apartment because I forgot to switch bags. Obviously, I had to tell him about diabetes at that point. I had prayed leading up to our date that I could just pretend that diabetes didn't exist for just one night, but then I had also prayed that my future husband would love me at my worst and fight for me when I needed him most....I got the latter prayer answered, praise God. I remember going ice skating with Jordan for our first date and thinking I could leave my purse in the car instead of being a "needy girl" and bringing it in with me. WRONG AGAIN. The Lord showed me from our very first date that I could trust Jordan with my life. As I was shaking like a leaf from embarrassment and low blood sugar, I asked Jordan to go get my purse from the car while I sat in the ice arena waiting for him. I then had to treat one of the worst lows I have ever had. On a a first date. With my future husband. Who didn't know a thing about me or my diabetes. Mortifying, I know. Jordan has handled diabetes in stride since day one, it has always been something that "we will figure out." He helps me make the impact less significant and for that, I am forever greatful.

I could go into every detail about every picture from here on out, but I will spare you that boredom. So here's a synopsis, a day in my head at each of these events at any given moment:

Lake Camping: How do I keep my pump dry on the boat? How do I keep my insulin cold for 3 days? How do I check my blood sugar enough and get enough insulin while swimming and disconnected? Do I have enough snacks to go on the boat? Can I ever have enough snacks? Is my pump site going to get ripped out with this life jacket/tubing situation?

1/2 Marathon: Did we pack enough snacks? Does everyone think I am blind or something because my hubby is riding a bike next to me? What if I spill my test strips while trying to check quickly? What if I go low and can't finish? What if my pump tubing gets knotted inside my sweatshirt and I finish the race, but am at 300 even after running 13 miles? Oh wait, that last one was a reality, not a question, but I finished the race and that's what counts.

Wedding Day: Am I the only bride who has to eat a PB&J in her wedding dress 15 minutes before walking down the aisle so I don't pass out? Dear Lord, can I please just make it through the ceremony without going low from nerves? Did the maids of honor remember the candy/juice I needed them to carry down the aisle? Will there be thousands of pictures of me checking my blood sugar today? Can I get my pump easy enough through this dress pocket contraption we came up with?

Having a baby: This one is hard. What questions have I not asked? What questions did I not know I needed to ask until it was almost too late? Is my baby going to have diabetes? Is my blood sugar going to stay stable without eating before my C-section? Is my baby going to be okay, even though she is in the special care nursery because of  MY DIABETES? Will I ever be able to have another baby, or was this too much?

There are so many things running through the mind of someone who has Type 1 Diabetes, whether it be a first date, a lake camping trip, a half marathon, a wedding day, preganancy, first day of teaching, the list goes on. The point is, that life is not routine and diabetes loves routines. I love routines, but I am learning that the best parts of life are out of routine, that's where the fun, the spontaneity and the faith lies. So this is what the last 10 years overcoming this disease with all of Jesus's strength and none of mine has taught me. Diabetes tells me no all day long, especially in out of routine circumstances and I could choose to let it win, or I can choose to overcome because Jesus overcame sin, death, disease and destruction on the cross. There are going to be bad days, scary days and downright exhausting days, especially with Type 1 diabetes. There will be hurdles like cataracts beginning at age 25, and pregnancy complications, but overcoming diabetes also brings the most beautiful days, the most memorable days, the most faith-filled days and the most wonderful people I have ever met. So here's to more days overcoming and more days truly living in the most crazy, exciting, beautiful, out of routine way possible.