On the eve of 2014, I can hardly believe that the weekend after next will mark our first year of marriage. So much has happened in the last year and so much is still happening! I have learned so many important lessons and grown so much and I have God and Jordan to thank for that. Here are some things I myself have learned about being a wife in 2013....
1. Trust is an amazing thing. Learning to trust the Lord to provide for us, trust my husband to do what's best for us and trust that I can let go of the little things has been quite a blessing in the past year.
2. Hobbies are important. I have re-cultivated my love for running, baking and reading and am training for a half-marathon! It is tricky to balance it all with work and grad school, but having time for just me has been really important. My health is better than ever and this half-marathon is my way of preparing myself and my diabetes to be healthy enough to have children safely at some point. Jordan has his personal hobbies too, like working out and doing projects with power tools...in our living room....
3. Honesty and tactfulness should be best friends. Nothing is better than being completely honest withy your spouse. However, an extra helping of kindness and a few hugs and kisses go a long way when it comes time to be brutally honest about something.
4. Listening is truly an art. I have learned what it means to listen to someone and to not be distracted by my phone, the mile-high pile of dirty laundry creeping into my thoughts, the list of rapid-fire questions threatening to burst forth from my very soul, etc. Of course, it is an art I am still practicing everyday (and Jordan will always be so much better at it than I am), but we are learning to use purposeful listening more often than not.
5. Couples that play together, stay together. Ha! So cliché...I had to throw at least one in there. In all seriousness though, playing board games, looking at Christmas lights, dancing in the kitchen, going to the dollar movies, playing football together, etc. have made the past year so incredibly fun. It does take work to still "date your spouse" especially with busy schedules and a grad-school budget, but that un-interrupted fun time is so refreshing.
6. Arguing is okay, but closure is crucial. After an argument, I have learned that nothing brings us back together like praying about the issue and talking about what the major "take aways" for next time are. This is Jordan's area of expertise and I have to say that stating a few concise positive "next time, I can do ____ better by..." statements and praying for guidance together really brings peace, grace and healing for everyone involved.
7. The biggest lesson I have learned, that was a piece of advice from our pastor, is to ask each other everyday "How can I serve you today?" and then make that one thing a priority. We have been consistently doing this for 6 months or so almost everyday, and I cannot even begin to express how much of a blessing it is. This simple concept helps avoid fights, hurt feelings and miscommunications. It turns "Why don't you ever help me with the dishes?" into "Today you can serve me by helping me finish all the dishes in the sink." Or "You never have time for me." Into "Today, I really just need to do something fun together after dinner." I love knowing that I am serving Jordan in the little things each day in a way that is meaningful to him and knowing he is already working on serving me takes away that nagging feeling that causes tension.
So that is the extent of my wisdom from the past year and my first year of marriage. I hope 2014 is a blessed year for everyone and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us in year two!
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