10 years

I have been overcoming Type 1 Diabetes for 10 years today. I posted some photos that stuck out to me the most when I think of overcoming diabetes. They are photos filled with life, fun, happiness and new beginnings. Behind each of those photos is a whole lot of planning, checking my blood sugar, guessing, correcting, over-correcting, stressing and finally managing and getting through the diabetes stress to get t the fun part of life. The Lord has lead me through the twisted path that diabetes takes every day and has brought wonderful people into my life as my support system because of it. I am reminded of my first date with my husband specifically. I wanted so badly to have my blood sugar under control and to tell him about diabetes in a calm, collected manner that was ANY OTHER DAY than our first date. What I got instead was having to stuff my purse with granola bars and candy RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM before we left my apartment because I forgot to switch bags. Obviously, I had to tell him about diabetes at that point. I had prayed leading up to our date that I could just pretend that diabetes didn't exist for just one night, but then I had also prayed that my future husband would love me at my worst and fight for me when I needed him most....I got the latter prayer answered, praise God. I remember going ice skating with Jordan for our first date and thinking I could leave my purse in the car instead of being a "needy girl" and bringing it in with me. WRONG AGAIN. The Lord showed me from our very first date that I could trust Jordan with my life. As I was shaking like a leaf from embarrassment and low blood sugar, I asked Jordan to go get my purse from the car while I sat in the ice arena waiting for him. I then had to treat one of the worst lows I have ever had. On a a first date. With my future husband. Who didn't know a thing about me or my diabetes. Mortifying, I know. Jordan has handled diabetes in stride since day one, it has always been something that "we will figure out." He helps me make the impact less significant and for that, I am forever greatful.

I could go into every detail about every picture from here on out, but I will spare you that boredom. So here's a synopsis, a day in my head at each of these events at any given moment:

Lake Camping: How do I keep my pump dry on the boat? How do I keep my insulin cold for 3 days? How do I check my blood sugar enough and get enough insulin while swimming and disconnected? Do I have enough snacks to go on the boat? Can I ever have enough snacks? Is my pump site going to get ripped out with this life jacket/tubing situation?

1/2 Marathon: Did we pack enough snacks? Does everyone think I am blind or something because my hubby is riding a bike next to me? What if I spill my test strips while trying to check quickly? What if I go low and can't finish? What if my pump tubing gets knotted inside my sweatshirt and I finish the race, but am at 300 even after running 13 miles? Oh wait, that last one was a reality, not a question, but I finished the race and that's what counts.

Wedding Day: Am I the only bride who has to eat a PB&J in her wedding dress 15 minutes before walking down the aisle so I don't pass out? Dear Lord, can I please just make it through the ceremony without going low from nerves? Did the maids of honor remember the candy/juice I needed them to carry down the aisle? Will there be thousands of pictures of me checking my blood sugar today? Can I get my pump easy enough through this dress pocket contraption we came up with?

Having a baby: This one is hard. What questions have I not asked? What questions did I not know I needed to ask until it was almost too late? Is my baby going to have diabetes? Is my blood sugar going to stay stable without eating before my C-section? Is my baby going to be okay, even though she is in the special care nursery because of  MY DIABETES? Will I ever be able to have another baby, or was this too much?

There are so many things running through the mind of someone who has Type 1 Diabetes, whether it be a first date, a lake camping trip, a half marathon, a wedding day, preganancy, first day of teaching, the list goes on. The point is, that life is not routine and diabetes loves routines. I love routines, but I am learning that the best parts of life are out of routine, that's where the fun, the spontaneity and the faith lies. So this is what the last 10 years overcoming this disease with all of Jesus's strength and none of mine has taught me. Diabetes tells me no all day long, especially in out of routine circumstances and I could choose to let it win, or I can choose to overcome because Jesus overcame sin, death, disease and destruction on the cross. There are going to be bad days, scary days and downright exhausting days, especially with Type 1 diabetes. There will be hurdles like cataracts beginning at age 25, and pregnancy complications, but overcoming diabetes also brings the most beautiful days, the most memorable days, the most faith-filled days and the most wonderful people I have ever met. So here's to more days overcoming and more days truly living in the most crazy, exciting, beautiful, out of routine way possible.

Managing Baby and T1 Diabetes at home alone...

So the past few months that our precious baby girl has been with us have made me realize just how dangerous staying home with a newborn and managing Type 1 Diabetes can be. I decided to write a quick list of things I wish I had thought of before I had a few scary low blood sugar incidences while home alone. I have realized that everything from lack of sleep to excitement and hormone changes can mean some pretty wacky blood sugar once baby is finally here! With that in mind, here are some tips for other T1D mommies out there!

1. Bring supplies with you everywhere you go, even in the house. I can't tell you how many times I have gotten stuck feeding a fussy baby somewhere and having to stop to find my meter, get a snack, find more test strips, etc. I started carrying a little tote (from Thirty-one pictured below) around the house with me everywhere that holds snacks, candy, my cell phone and sometimes even the baby monitor. It's awesome to have everything in one place if you decided to go outside, run to the basement to get some chores done, or anything like that. I love being able to just grab my little tote and throw it in the stroller for an impromptu walk. You have enough preparing and packing to do for the baby, make diabetes supplies one less stressor by having them always ready!

2. Check your blood sugar before glorious surprise naps. So you are supposed to sleep when the baby sleeps....but if you have diabetes, an unexpected nap can mean an unexpected low if you were planning to eat or end up sleeping longer than you mean to. Ideally, you want to sleep as long as the baby sleeps and not wake up sweating and freaking out because your sugar is way too low, trust me on this one.

3. The first few weeks you are home alone, turn your insulin pump WAAAAY down. As in less insulin so that you aren't going to pass out alone with a baby. Of course, ask your doctor about this, but for me, shooting for 3 digit numbers after 9 months of militant obsession with lower numbers was hard to get used to.

4. Remember to eat. ESPECIALLY if you are breastfeeding. Duh right? Except when you are so consumed with taking care of the baby, sometimes strange things happen, like bolus-ing for your lunch, getting interrupted by your little one and forgetting to finish eating. The result? A whole lot of insulin covering NOT a whole lot of carbs. Trust me on this one too, unless maybe I'm the only one who forgets to eat....? I started bolus-ing for half my meals at first and then doing the other half if I finished eating. One-handed snacks are also wonderful, like granola bars, cheese sticks, breakfast burritos, the list goes on.

5. Have someone check on you! This last tip is something my hubby and I just came up with recently after I had a few scary lows during the middle of the day. Our plan is that I text him at 9am, noon and 3pm and if he doesn't hear from me during those times he calls me. I suppose if I don't answer, the next step is to call our neighbor to come make sure we are okay! This seems silly and almost paranoid at first, but really it is one of the most important ways to keep you and baby safe! I pretty much realized early on that my ability to be home alone without any one checking on me was never going to happen. So I embraced it and enjoy the extra time to connect with loved ones throughout the day!

That is all I have so far but, it's only been 4 months! I hope that some new mom with T1D somewhere can benefit from this and stay safe at home with those new little cuties!

Things I have learned from having a baby and having Type 1 Diabetes

I haven't written in so long because I have been so preoccupied with taking care of our little princess! Palmer Brooke was born on Friday, February 13th via C-section and the surgery went smoothly! My blood sugar was perfect and we managed it on our own like real pros. Here is the short list of things I have learned in the last 10 weeks with my happy, healthy, beautiful baby girl.

1. Being a new mom is downright exhausting, it's a new kind of tired, but somehow we all persevere and get up with the baby one more time each and every night. Completely handing the reins over to Daddy on at least one weekend night per week was the best present I have ever received for myself. I pump bottles ahead of time and just let Jordan work on his parenting skills for the overnight shift, he's such a good sport about it.

2. Nothing about diabetes or babies is predictable. ever. I assumed that I would be the one with health issues postpartum. But it was my sweet little baby that had to be in the special care nursery for her first few days of life and then in the general hospital for her first week because of low blood sugar and fluid in her lungs. One of those issues was attributed to my diabetes even though I kept near perfect control.

3. Breastfeeding is SO HARD. Its confusing, frustrating, even painful at first. When all was said and done, it was determined that I do not produce enough milk for my growing baby and we need to supplement with formula as well. Why? Diabetes. Of course. After 3 long weeks of literally sleepless nights (because I was essentially starving my baby unknowingly), my husband and I got flexible, gave some formula and some breast milk at each feeding and we all happily began sleeping longer at night.

4. Sometimes I forget to do basic things I need to keep me alive. For example, sometimes my pump runs out of insulin because I was so pre-occupied with the baby I forgot to change it, or hours go by and I haven't eaten anything because again, I was busy. My blood sugar is lower now than it has ever been due to producing milk, burning extra calories walking around the house at 2AM most nights with a squirmy baby and forgetting to eat. You think that the basics of diabetes and personal care in general are second nature. Then you have a baby and all of a sudden the baby is all that matters. I will put insulin in for my lunch, get interrupted, forget to finish eating and 30 minutes later I have to choose to have a screaming inconsolable infant rather than pass out.

5. Babies hate cribs. At least mine does. The moment I let go of my control freak tendencies and started putting her in a swing to sleep was the moment we all actually got some sleep. She has moved from our room in the swing to the hallway right by her nursery in the swing. We're getting closer every week to getting her to sleep in her own room, but for now, my child sleeps in the hallway because it works and I have decided I am okay with that.

6. Being a mother is beautiful and painful, but basically just beautiful. The sleepless nights, insane blood sugar, forgetfulness and days covered in spit up are all worth  it the second I see that toothless smile.

More than anything, the Lord is teaching me the power of flexibility and letting go of my plans, my priorities and my fears about motherhood. I started giving Palmer a bottle at times when she is sobbing and won't nurse, I started letting her sleep in bed with me on nights that I just couldn't keep my eyes open another second, all things I said I would never do. And you know what? I have a happy, healthy, finally-gaining-weight, beautiful baby girl. She is fed, she is well rested regardless of how we get there, and her Daddy and I couldn't be happier.

The day before Motherhood

We have made it to the end of pregnancy. Tomorrow we will meet our little precious baby and I will be a mother and Jordan will be a father. All of the stress, tears, excitement, sleepless nights, blood sugar swings, hospital visits and endless waiting rooms end tomorrow. Except they don't end. They are just beginning. I am both elated and terrified at the prospect of being a mom starting tomorrow. It doesn't help that as of this minute, I am not sure if we will be having a C-section or a labor induction. All I know is that they baby is still breech and I am to keep my blood sugar steady while not eating anything from midnight tonight until the birth of our baby. I just keep telling myself that we can do this. That God can do this. We have kept my blood sugar in amazing control by the grace of God for 9 entire months, we can keep it up for just one more day, and then thousands of days after that...

As I am preparing for my last prenatal appointment and non-stress test this morning, I can't help but realize that this moment and the events of tomorrow are the very events that I have been anticipating, worrying about and learning to trust the Lord with for nearly the last 10 years. Since my diagnosis with Type 1 Diabetes, there has always been a vague gray area around the issue of having children. I have heard many different opinions from many different doctors, have researched online countless hours, have listened to many insensitive comments from acquaintances and have spent years of my life begging the Lord for a healthy baby of my own some day. Yet here we are, on the eve of our first child's birthday. We have been to the emergency room 4 times during this pregnancy, we have gone to 8 high risk OB appointments, had 10 ultrasounds, 6 endocrinologist appointments and 29 regular OB appointments. I assumed that the doctor's office would infiltrate every aspect of my life and I was right, but one thing I did not anticipate was looking forward to those appointments with eager anticipation. Every appointment meant that I received professional confirmation that the baby is alive and well and that I am already being the best mother that I can be.

It's been a long road with pregnancy, with diabetes, with learning to be a mother already and I know that there is still a long road ahead. It will be a beautiful, messy, terrifying and exhilarating journey. Starting tomorrow, diabetes won't be the only one who needs to be fed at 3AM, won't be my only worry or constant obsession. So here's to trusting the Lord at the fork in the road between a C-section and labor and here's to happy birthdays!

Week 33: Worst nightmares, prayers and peace

This past weekend we had quite a scare at the Hagemeyer house. It was our very first night in our new house that we now own! I had been having strange blood sugar all day, but nothing unusual of the stress of moving and a new routine. Before we went to bed it started to snow a lot and get really icy. Now I don’t know how I know these things sometimes, (I like to believe God warns me of scary things ahead of time) but before we went to bed I had been talking to my mom about how I needed to pack my hospital bag. My last thought before I went to sleep was “It’s going to be hard to get to the hospital in the ice.” Feeling foolish, I said a quick prayer for safety and fell asleep. When 1:30AM rolled around, I awoke to extremely low blood sugar (not unusual during my pregnancy) and some cramping in my abdomen. Again, I knew what was going to happen. I just heard this little voice inside me say “Eat your starburst and fix your blood sugar because as soon as you stand up we are going to the hospital.” Sure enough, 4 inhaled starbursts later and I was screaming from the bathroom to a poor unsuspecting husband about blood, pain and going to the hospital. Jordan flew into action like a mad man. It was slow motion and light speed all at once. Within minutes we were dressed, with shoes on and tramping through the snow to the car. Speeding through the streets of our tiny town on icy roads did nothing to calm my hysteria. So of course I called my mom and prayed silently that my little baby would live to call me someday when he/she was scared. We got to the hospital in 7 minutes or less and I was quickly taken to the OB wing. As soon as they hooked me up to the fetal monitor and I heard that quickened little heartbeat, I melted into a puddle of relief. The baby was okay, I was okay and we made it to the hospital. By that point, I was having contractions every 3-4 minutes and the doctor was worried we would go into labor at a mere 32 weeks. They gave me medicine to calm the contractions which unfortunately spiked my blood sugar. Awesome. Not. I stayed in the hospital for 2 days on this drug called magnesium that is the worst stuff on the planet, especially if you have diabetes.

After being released and resting at home the remainder of the week, I saw my perinatologist (high risk obstetrician. He scared us to the point of tears when he explained that what happened was called a placental abruption, when the placenta bleeds because it tears a little bit from where it is supposed to be attached. His words exactly were “You had a mild abruption. I know that it is mild because we are having this conversation and your baby is still alive.” Talk about terrifying. Because the bleeding and contractions stopped, I am able to resume my normal activities within reason; he mentioned I am actually safer at work than home alone in case it happens again. We might now be induced as early as 37 weeks, depending on how the baby and I are doing. So here we are, praying, pleading, waiting and watching for any signs that we need to return to the hospital all while still excitedly preparing the nursery.

After our scare, for the first time in my life, diabetes seems so small. I was so worried about the effect on the baby and who knew that diabetes would not be the issue. Sure it adds another complicated element, but I was assured that there is no way to tell if this problem has anything to do with diabetes and to not try and blame myself or my health. I am trusting the Lord with this baby with a fervor like never before. I decided this morning at 3AM (while treating yet more low blood sugar), that God is in the business of protecting babies. He gave Hannah a son when she thought she was barren, she trusted him and Samuel was born. He gave Abraham and Sarah a baby way past their prime. He gave Elizabeth John the Baptist and gave Rebekah twins. Not only that, but Moses as a baby was kept safe from all sorts of treacheries and Jesus was born in a filthy place full of potential hazards. All of these women trusted the Lord for the baby they were promised and that was growing inside them, despite the odds being stacked against them. So we could freak out, worry incessantly and search horror stories on the internet, or we can rest in peace and understanding that God has this under control and this baby has never been in better care. It is my absolute goal over the next 4-6 weeks to be Mary, Hannah, Sarah, Elizabeth and Rebekah. I am claiming in the name of Jesus that we will have a healthy child, we will remain calm in the Lord’s peace and in 4-6 weeks we will hold our little miracle in our arms because “I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.” (1 Samuel 1:27) So here’s to the next 4-6 weeks of celebration that our little one is coming soon!

Week 29.

So here we are, just 10 weeks away from meeting out precious little baby (I will be induced no later than 39 weeks because of diabetes). So far pregnancy has had many highs and lows....literally....a little diabetes humor that I just could not resist! We still do not know the gender of our baby, despite the 4 ultrasounds I have had, with 2-3 more to go. I have my suspicions, but I'm not telling! We STILL do not have a name picked out for our baby either way and I'm getting nervous we will just have to actually name him/her the affectionate pet name, "Bubba," that we use now!

I have just completed my 4th appointment with the perinatologist (high-risk OB) and so far everything looks great in terms of my blood sugars and the baby's development. I always hold my breath a little while he reads over my last month's blood sugar print-outs, hoping that I am doing everything right. So far, we are under near perfect control, with still too many lows for his liking. Ah lows....on that subject, here is a little story from last night. So I went to bed with some active insulin after eating a small bowl of cereal before bed, this is typical though, especially with late-night hunger pangs, so I assumed if I set my alarm to check my blood sugar at 3am, I would be fine. By the grace of God alone, I am "fine" and able to type this right now. By 12:30am, my blood sugar was 24. I woke up shaking and sweating with my heart racing and my lips and tongue completely numb. All I could say was "24" over and over again to my husband lying fast asleep next to me as I stuffed candy corn in my mouth and dripped blood from my overzealous finger poke all over the place. Jordan stayed up with me until my sugar was steady again, but apparently not steady enough.

By 2:30 am before my alarm actually did go off, I was 28 and surprisingly felt fine, minus the racing heartbeat. Thinking I could handle it myself without waking Jordan up again, I stood up to go get some juice this time (switching off types of glucose is more effective). After taking two steps away from the bed, I quickly realized that there was going to be no "doing this myself." My legs gave out from under me and thankfully I fell back onto the bed. I must have made some sort of noise, I don't quite remember, but then Jordan was holding me up and then we were in the kitchen drinking cranberry juice. All I could think about the entire time was "Please, God, let the baby be okay." After 30 more minutes, a glass of juice, some starbursts and a slice of peanut butter toast, we were finally able to go back to sleep. Jordan was holding on to me so tightly I couldn't even move, but I allowed it because we both knew that the events of the night could have had a very different outcome.

After an eventful and nearly sleepless night, I woke up this morning ready to battle high blood sugar from all of that delayed glucose. Again, by the grace of God alone, was 106, with no low blood sugar migraine. I have felt the baby move more than ever today and my blood sugar is nearly perfect, all of which I am 100% positive are absolute miracles. There you have it, that is what is going on in the lives of people everywhere with Type 1 Diabetes, especially those who are pregnant. Nights like last night really put life in perspective for me and make me realize just how blessed I truly am to be alive and well every morning.

Pregnancy and diabetes mixed together are teaching me nearly hourly that I do not always have to be the one in control and that the Lord literally will wake me up in the middle of the night to save me, more than once if needed. I am so thankful to be alive this morning, so thankful that my baby is safe, so thankful that my husband can respond so quickly at 3AM. For the most part, though, I am really enjoying being pregnant. There is something so wonderful about being pregnant during the Christmas season, I feel like it really makes Christmas spirit come alive and allows me to be constantly aware of the baby in the manger that we are celebrating. On nights like last night, all we can do is rely on God to get us safely through the danger that is largely out of our control and spend our days praising Him for His faithfulness.

Week 23.

We made it over half way through pregnancy! I have to say that so far, being pregnant is not the horror that I imagined it would be. I always just assumed that pregnancy and Type 1 Diabetes would join forces to make the most miserable 9 months of my life. There are many struggles, but the promised reward at the end turns them into manageable challenges. Listed below, because I do love lists....are some of the many important things I have learned about pregnancy, diabetes and the combination of the two.

1. Pregnancy, at least with T1D really is the hardest, most worthwhile thing I have ever set out to accomplish. I always thought my half-marathon with diabetes was a real challenge, boy was I young and naïve.

2. Low blood sugar can strike at any moment....I am told that the lows should be subsiding....ha....I carry an entire Ziploc bag full of candy corn in my purse at all times because juice just doesn't do anything to help me anymore.

3. Gaining weight ON PURPOSE is a weird feeling.

4. "Morning Sickness" or in my case, "Night Nausea" is not just for the first trimester, it still happens about two nights per week.

5. Pregnancy strengthens marriage. I have never felt so vulnerable, nervous and  neurotic as I have these past few months and allowing Jordan to take care of me in those moments has helped me realize what love really is, what God's love is really like.

6. Throw the rule book out the window. Being flexible within pregnancy with diabetes is a MUST. It is incredibly hard for me to throw the "old rules" out the window. I now eat 0 carbs for breakfast, so just 2 eggs every morning, then have a "second breakfast" (in the habit of Hobbits) at 8:30 of NO MORE than 25 carbs. New routines like this one rock my world for a few weeks, then change just as soon as I get used to them. I'm learning patience and flexibility as I strive to get my blood sugars in that "sweet spot" (pun definitely intended...)

7. An A1C of 5.1 really is possible during pregnancy. Yeas that means I have several lows everyday, but we fix what we can and we don't worry about yesterday's numbers.

8. Trusting God for this healthy baby is how I find peace. I must say it a thousand times a day, "Lord, I'm trusting you with this healthy baby. I am trusting you with diabetes."

9. Running during pregnancy is exhausting at first, then awesome. The more I run, the more energy I have and the better I feel overall, blood sugar included. Granted, the very most I can do is 2 miles, but it's still exercise!

10. Telling people that you are NOT finding out the baby's gender ON PURPOSE is highly entertaining some days, highly annoying other days.....everyone has an opinion....

So far, that is the extent of my wisdom in this 23 week journey. I am so ready to meet Baby Hagemeyer or "Bubba Squirt" as we affectionately call him/her.

Overcoming

Tomorrow is my Overcoming Diabetes day. With all of God's strength and none of mine, I have been overcoming type 1 diabetes for 9 years now. We had some frozen yogurt and a special breakfast to celebrate overcoming diabetes for me and for baby. A lot has changed in the last 9 years, more specifically in the last 4 months. I now test my blood sugar 15-18 times a day, I can handle may foods that used to give me blood sugar issues and many foods that I used to do fine with are now causing troubles.

As I am sitting here typing this (at 2 PM) with the tail end of a 2 AM low-blood sugar migraine, 9 years seems so long. All of the needles, the doctor visits, complications, trips to the ER, worries and sleepless nights seem to stretch out forever behind me. What is more daunting is facing what the future holds with diabetes. This pregnancy has taught me that there really is such a tangible reward to maintaining good control. In the context of doing diabetes for baby, it's easy and it's not a burden. In the context of dealing with diabetes within our marriage, finances and my own sanity, sometimes it feels like a burden. My husband is amazing and has never made me feel like a burden, but I know that this disease affects every part of his life too. From halted spontaneity because of blood sugar issues to piles of medical bills, I am not the only one feeling the effects of diabetes at its maintenance. I am still learning everyday to give this burden to the Lord and not try to shoulder it myself. Already in being a mother, I can understand God's love more fully than I ever could before. I can handle diabetes and the extra sugar checks, doctor visits, bills, etc. for the baby's well being and I want nothing more than to keep that burden from harming my little one in any way. So in the same way, I can give my stress, worry and exhaustion to the Lord because He wants to take that burden away from me for the same reason I want to protect my child.

I am reminded on this day every year of the song that really resonates the emotions that come with battling a chronic disease. "I will praise you in this storm, I will lift my hands, for You are who You are, no matter where I am. Every tear I've cried, You hold in your hands, You've never left my side and though my heart is torn, I will praise You in this storm." That has been my theme song for the past 9 years when diabetes gets really rough. It's the song I hummed in my head on the way to the emergency room last week, the silent prayer I repeat over and over again when I just cannot seem to get my blood sugar in a safe range for the baby and the song I woke up with stuck in my throbbing head this morning at 2am. So here's to 9 more healthy, happy years of overcoming diabetes and learning to trust that I do not always have to hold it all together. I am determined to keep illness from ruining my fun, my family and my future!

And then there were three...

This past week we had the pleasure of announcing (finally) our pregnancy to co-workers and friends. While our family has known for many weeks, it feels good to finally be able to talk about our news and not have to hide it anymore! Which means I can now fill the world in on how my life has drastically changed in the last 12 weeks. Let's start with the basics. I am not really having morning sickness which is a HUGE blessing, especially with diabetes. I do, however, get quite queasy around 8:30pm every night until about 10pm. I have come to expect it and just use the time to watch some TV or go to bed early. I feel like I sleep and eat constantly. Supposedly, the little baby inside me, who is still somewhere between the size of a plum and a kiwi, is not using that much of my energy yet. Ha! I will be past my first trimester on Friday and I am so ready for the second trimester which brings more chances to see ultrasounds, feel the baby move and hopefully, less queasy feelings.

Thankfully, diabetes and pregnancy are getting along moderately well. I am constantly fighting low blood sugar at all times of the day and night, which only contributes to my constant eating even more. I will say that I am very anxious all the time about what my blood sugar is doing, how it is affecting the baby and how I can keep it even more under control. That little screen on my glucometer that beams those numbers that will ultimately hurt or help my baby is like oxygen to me. As I am working on completing my last semester of graduate school, I am also constantly calculating all sorts of numbers in my head to the point where I am even dreaming about testing my blood sugar. I likely test 15 times a day now just because I feel like it is the only way I can know that the baby is doing fine. I suppose I am getting a little neurotic about checking, but I suppose reassuring myself of the safety of my baby and myself is only a good thing. I am so blessed to have a team of doctors and nurses who are keeping a close eye on the baby's development and a husband who is diligent in helping me make this the easiest pregnancy that it can be. We just found out the schedule of doctor's visits for the next 6 months and I will say it is quite overwhelming. Somehow I am going to make it to two different doctor's offices once a month and a third doctor a few times in there as well. By week 26, I will be going to one of three doctors every other week (which means some appointment every week) and by week 30, I will be balancing 2 different doctors every week. And that is all if everything goes perfectly, if not, it will be even more visits, more needles, more waiting rooms and more co-pays. Bring it on.

So far, in the last 12 weeks, pregnancy has taught me so much. I now understand why mothers worry when they don't know how their children are doing. My baby is closer to me than my own skin and yet I still worry. I have learned to let go of the idea that I can control diabetes completely, control pregnancy and control my crazy emotions and appetite. I have never had to trust the Lord so completely and so wholly as I do now. Growing a baby inside me is also growing trust in my heart. I am trusting that every high or low blood sugar number is not going to hurt my baby, trusting that birth defects aren't going to happen and trusting that God can handle this so much better than I can. I am learning to let my body literally be a house of peace through Jesus. The baby needs peace and rest and trust. When I am not checking my blood sugar, I am praying for the baby and vis versa. I am ready to trust the Lord to get me and the baby safely through the next 6 months and to get us safely through the next 6 hours.

Neburski

I clearly haven't written in awhile. So much has changed since my last post that I'm not sure where to begin....Let's begin with the obvious, we now live in Nebraska. Stanton, Nebraska to be exact. Jordan took a design engineer position in Norfolk, a city with a population around 24 thousand people. We live in a little town just outside the city that has about 1,500 people. 15 hundred people in relation to Denver is a HUGE difference. We have both wanted to get out of the city for so long and now that we have actually done it, I cannot even begin to describe the changes in day to day life that immediately exist. Jordan is from a small town, even smaller than where we currently live, so he is used to the mannerisms, culture and quirks of small town America much more than I am. I have visited his family often, but there are many new things I am learning by being an actual part of a smaller community. The best part about moving to Nebraska is by far the house that we get to live in on a near 1/2 acre of land. In comparison to our tiny apartment, it is enormous! I am still finding empty cabinets and drawers every day that I thought I had already filled up.

Because I am a lover of lists, the list below is a list of "adjustments" I have found myself going through in the first week of our new adventure. Swapping the big city for a small town and an apartment for a house for the first time is quite a change.

1. YARD WORK. Something I have hardly done in my life up to this point and will likely spend the rest of my existence doing on our property.
2. ENORMOUS BIRDS. Birds in NE are kind of terrifying.
3. GRASS/WEED DUMPS. This means something entirely different in Denver....ha. here in small town America, it is a place to dump your grass clippings, branches, etc where they later burn them in mass piles.
4. GAS STOVES. Gas stoves are exhilarating and scary at the same time.
5. WORK WHISTLES. Small towns have "work whistles" that sound everyday at noon and 5pm, they also double as tornado sirens....don't confuse the two.
6. INDIVIDUAL MAILBOXES. Mail carriers don't take your outgoing mail unless you know that you're supposed to put the little flag up.
7. 1400 FT ABOVE SEA-LEVEL. Baking and running are magnificent at 1400 ft.
8. SILENCE AND DARKNESS. Out here it is like silence and darkness have a presence and when they combine, it makes me feel like a little kid sprinting across the backyard, jumping into the house and slamming the door on the monsters that are surely lurking nearby.
9. BULLETIN BOARDS. Small town bulletin boards are hilarious, especially the one at Emmit's Foodtown, yes that is what our grocery store is called.
10. BLACK HOLES. Yards and garages are like black holes that suck people in and spit them out hours, even days later, only for husbands though.
11. TOWN HALL/THE COURTHOUSE. These are the places where you can get things done in minutes that would have taken hours, if not days in Denver.
12. GOING TO TOWN. Some days you don't work or need to go to the store, so you don't "go to town" (Norfolk) which means you can go an entire 24 hours without being a part of corporate America, Starbucks included. It's weird.
13. BE A WAVER. Everyone waves to each other, whether they know you or not. Avoid the confused stares and be a waver.

Those are only some of the many adjustments I have noticed here in the first week of our new home. I am learning to be a waver who does yard work, out-runs monsters, bakes perfect cookies in a gas oven, uses a mailbox correctly and dismisses work whistles like a pro. I am fitting in already. Who am I kidding? I am POSITIVE that everyone in the entire town knows I came from the city just by watching my reactions to absolutely normal life for them. Whether I fit in or not, I am loving every minute of our new home, besides being far away from family and friends. That is the biggest adjustment of all.

Year ONE.

On the eve of 2014, I can hardly believe that the weekend after next will mark our first year of marriage. So much has happened in the last year and so much is still happening! I have learned so many important lessons and grown so much and I have God and Jordan to thank for that. Here are some things I myself have learned about being a wife in 2013....

1. Trust is an amazing thing. Learning to trust the Lord to provide for us, trust my husband to do what's best for us and trust that I can let go of the little things has been quite a blessing in the past year.

2. Hobbies are important. I have re-cultivated my love for running, baking and reading and am training for a half-marathon! It is tricky to balance it all with work and grad school, but having time for just me has been really important. My health is better than ever and this half-marathon is my way of preparing myself and my diabetes to be healthy enough to have children safely at some point. Jordan has his personal hobbies too, like working out and doing projects with power tools...in our living room....

3. Honesty and tactfulness should be best friends. Nothing is better than being completely honest withy your spouse. However, an extra helping of kindness and a few hugs and kisses go a long way when it comes time to be brutally honest about something.

4. Listening is truly an art. I have learned what it means to listen to someone and to not be distracted by my phone, the mile-high pile of dirty laundry creeping into my thoughts, the list of rapid-fire questions threatening to burst forth from my very soul, etc. Of course, it is an art I am still practicing everyday (and Jordan will always be so much better at it than I am), but we are learning to use purposeful listening more often than not.

5. Couples that play together, stay together. Ha! So cliché...I had to throw at least one in there. In all seriousness though, playing board games, looking at Christmas lights, dancing in the kitchen, going to the dollar movies, playing football together, etc. have made the past year so incredibly fun. It does take work to still "date your spouse" especially with busy schedules and a grad-school budget, but that un-interrupted fun time is so refreshing.

6. Arguing is okay, but closure is crucial. After an argument, I have learned that nothing brings us back together like praying about the issue and talking about what the major "take aways" for next time are. This is Jordan's area of expertise and I have to say that stating a few concise positive "next time, I can do ____ better by..." statements and praying for guidance together really brings peace, grace and healing for everyone involved.

7. The biggest lesson I have learned, that was a piece of advice from our pastor, is to ask each other everyday "How can I serve you today?" and then make that one thing a priority. We have been consistently doing this for 6 months or so almost everyday, and I cannot even begin to express how much of a blessing it is. This simple concept helps avoid fights, hurt feelings and miscommunications. It turns "Why don't you ever help me with the dishes?" into "Today you can serve me by helping me finish all the dishes in the sink." Or "You never have time for me." Into "Today, I really just need to do something fun together after dinner." I love knowing that I am serving Jordan in the little things each day in a way that is meaningful to him and knowing he is already working on serving me takes away that nagging feeling that causes tension.

So that is the extent of my wisdom from the past year and my first year of marriage. I hope 2014 is a blessed year for everyone and I cannot wait to see what God has in store for us in year two!

Joe Diffy, Cookies n' Cream, Raccoons and the man that makes them all a story worth telling

So we have officially moved into our new apartment that is closer to work, less expensive and much bigger! We both really like being closer to work and church and not having to battle traffic nearly as much. All in all, if we have to live in Denver, this is a good place to be for now. We have many neighbors that attend our church and get to hang out with them throughout the week which is a welcome change to living too far away from anything of interest that is happening. On the marriage front, we have now been married over 8 months and are quickly approaching our first anniversary! There is too much to say in regards to our apartment and the crazy cowboy who inhabits it with me to write it all like usual, so I have compiled two concise lists of likes and dislikes for your viewing pleasure!

Likes:
1. The friends we have made since moving here!
2.The crickets we can hear as we fall asleep
3. More space to country swing dance in the living room while listening to good old country, which we just did and Jordan is still doing back and forth from the living room to the patio while raccoon hunting...more on that later
4. A patio that faces the sunrise and the moon, perfect for eating cookies n' cream ice cream and listening to Joe Diffy (which we also just did)
5. Neighbors downstairs who don't play videogames loudly, but do pray together loudly for our city and our world on Saturday nights. We can hear them while on the patio, I really should go meet them...
6. The fireplace! Which it is very nearly fall-ish enough outside to use!
7. The amount of free time I have for cooking, grad school, running, etc. now that I can drive home after work every day!

Dislikes:
1. The massive amount of raccoons we can hear in the dumpster AFTER we fall asleep....Jordan is literally chucking pebbles at them from the deck as I am typing....."I need more ammo" is what I just heard, we are likely going to get written up or arrested....but at least not bitten by rabid raccoons! Except that he just asked me if he could go chase them down the creek bed with a paintball gun....
2. The dumpster divers that take the early morning shift after the raccoons are done and bring very not quiet diesel pick-up trucks.
3. The fact that 4 miles from work still equals 20 minutes of traffic, but it's better than 30-45 minutes.

So overall, the likes outweigh the dislikes and I would honestly say that Jordan and I are much happier than we were one apartment ago. It's strange to think that this is the 7th place I have lived that is not my parent's house...hopefully someday sooner than later, we will plant some roots of our own and stop the apartment saga. For now though, I am appreciating the little things, like fireplaces and crickets and it wouldn't be nearly as exciting without the somewhat ridiculous, yet hilarious roommate that I share all these things with....

6 Months and the Sofa Stand Off

This coming weekend, Jordan and I will have been married for 6 months! It feels so much longer than that and so much shorter than that at the exact same time. We are looking forward to moving into our new apartment, much closer to work, in precisely a month. I have enjoyed the past 6 months more than any other time in my entire life and I have to say, the first year of marriage is NOT like I expected it to be. Everyone kept telling me that it was the most difficult time and the toughest year and honestly, I was nervous and prepared for conflict and frustration. However, now that the echoes of the "uphill both ways, barefoot in the snow" stories have died down, I have to say that I honestly just don't believe that it is true. Unless in the next 6 months, a cataclysmic ice age or meteor shower is going to hit, this year is not going to be the "hardest" or the "roughest." Don't get me wrong, Jordan and I do struggle with the growth and change that comes from marriage (If you don't believe me, wait until I get to the sofa....), but overall we both are loving every minute of being married. We are learning so much about each other and so much about ourselves and I can see my own selfish tendencies and God's grace more clearly than ever in our day to day routine. So enough mushy love stuff.....just know that we are happy, I am relatively healthy as usual and this whole marriage business is not only challenging, but mostly amusing, exciting and growth producing.

Now onto the topic of the sofa.....

So, Jordan and I have been discussing buying a new sofa with some of our wedding money for quite some time now. Mostly we had decided that it made sense because our new apartment is bigger, a love seat is too small for company, the gold and burgundy on the love seat were a quite frightening color scheme, etc. Okay, so that last part was my concern, not Jordan's...anyway, this past weekend we picked out the most perfect sofa in the world. I have to thank my mother-in-law for giving a little "mama wisdom" to her son and actually getting us to the furniture store because we likely would have never gotten there if she hadn't suggested we "just go look." So once we finally got to the store, it took all of about 15 minutes for us to both fall in love with the perfect soft, cushy, mocha colored sofa. So we bought it and I got a stuffed animal puppy that I named Wallace to go with it! Now that it is at home, I absolutely adore it and sit on it all the time, our apartment is starting to look like actual adults live there. My husband on the other hand, has only as of this very morning, sat on it TWICE! He said it is too pretty to sit on, so the problem of not having a couch that we can both sit on is still a problem....I am working on coaxing him over to the couch by refusing to move to the chair or the floor or anywhere else when he wants to sit by me, but let's just say it is a slow-moving process. He is convinced that he is a "messy boy" and will somehow spill on the couch, rip it or ruin it. So the moral of the story is, before you buy your first new couch as a newlywed, make sure that your husband will actually sit on it, or you will be in the exact same situation as when you didn't have a couch to begin with! I have to say that things like the sofa situation are the little quirks that I love about him though, it keeps life entertaining and I KNOW that I am probably just as strange about other things....

Tony Stark and Mac n' Cheese

We have now been married for half of a half of a year and thus far, being married only gets more fun and more entertaining as time goes on. As the weeks fly by, I am eagerly anticipating the start of my summer preschool job and the start of graduate school. I have "first day jitters" already because I just know that grad school is going to add a whole lot more to our weekly routine. Thankfully, my dear husband is extremely supportive and helpful in both calming my nerves and helping me prepare myself to begin school again. He has helped me set up my computer to be efficient for online classes, promised to help make dinners on the nights I have homework and let me vent my every apprehension over and over again. 

On the topic of computers...we recently watched "Iron Man,"one of my super-hero obsessions, and Jordan quite enjoyed it. For those who have not seen it, the main character Tony Stark (Iron Man), is a billionaire genius with the ability to invent futuristic gadgets, robots, super hero suits, etc. Since watching the technological prowess of Mr. Stark on our fancy flat screen TV last Saturday evening, Jordan has taken it upon himself to "Tony Stark-ify" our little apartment. Although he likely won't outright admit it, I know for a fact that the reason we now have a "sky drive" and a computer and xbox console that respond to nearly any plausible voice command, has more than just a little to do with watching the Iron Man movie. Don't get me wrong, checking your email by simply talking to the computer from several feet away is highly entertaining; I am just not sure how I feel about the whole technology ordeal. Those of you who know me best, know that although I am writing a blog and finally caved to getting a smartphone, these are the  very most of my technological endeavors. I will also admit that I was forcibly coerced into getting a Twitter account by my younger sisters, and to secretly wanting the ipad I get to use with my preschoolers every day. Other than all of that, I will have no part in the technology craze. I vow to stick to my paper books, my snail mail affinity and my hatred of glowing screens that interrupt family life, until the end of time. So I have decided that talking to the computer will be something I watch Jordan do in awe and not really participate in because it feels a little bit weird. 

I am secretly thrilled however, to have a husband who is so incredibly intelligent that he can write back-up code, set up voice commands and complete any sort of math, technology or problem-solving challenge thrown at him. I just don't think that way at all. In my world of finger paints, language development and preschool social-emotional needs, I can't even begin to make my brain work the way his does. Jordan's innate problem-solving skills have worked wonders on my diabetes as well. To him, diabetes is one giant math problem waiting for a perfect equation. He has made the way we manage it so scientific that I almost always know exactly what to do in any given situation. We have spreadsheets of supply orders, emergency supply stashes and a highly organized way of dealing with my blood sugar numbers. I have to say that I am an organized person, but it took someone like Jordan to organize diabetes because I think I just didn't want to. A part of me wanted to just let it exist in chaos because it can be so emotional to try and accept the reality of it, the reality that it can often not be predicted or controlled. Getting married has literally done wonders for my health on a daily basis. Despite a few new diabetes struggles, I feel more in control of what is going on inside my body than ever before and I have Mr. Hagemeyer rather than Mr. Stark to thank for that.

So here we are, a half of a half of a year into this forever business and I couldn't be more happy. I am so excited about what the future holds for me and for us as a couple. I can't wait for a career in teaching preschool, children of our own, a house and a puppy (in no particuar order). For now, even as I dream about wrap-around porches, little league baseball and having my own classroom, I am content to just sit on the living room floor eating a bowl of Kraft mac n' cheese, talking and laughing with my best friend about nothing and everything at the same time. I am thrilled to see where the future is going to take us, anxious to know how we will get there and ready to let it be all of God's business and none of mine.

Like Jesus Does...

So as of late I have been listening to a song by Eric Church on the radio called "Like Jesus Does." It has been repeatedly stuck in my head and has become one of my favorites, of course, because it combines my two favorite things: Jesus's love and country music. I just love the beautiful picture of marriage that comes through in the song (whether the author is actually married, I do not know...) that I truly appreciate and can relate to. So, in the spirit of the song that has been stuck in my head all day, I decided to write my own version. I have left the original words in red and for those of you who have never heard the song, I pasted a link below. I would like to dedicate this song to my incredibly patient, forgiving, entertaining husband and to thank him for all the ways he has supported me and has committed to support me in the future. From grad school to car shopping to diabetes, he leads me and loves me like Jesus does...

Original song
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGF6c0tjAgI

Like Jesus Does
by Eric Church AND Taylor Hagemeyer

I'm a romantic heart that by determined plans is spurred,
I'm a stubborn one that might listen less than I'm heard,
But he believes in me like he believes  God's word
And loves me like Jesus does.
I'm a bright n' early bird who always wakes up talking,
I dream of peaceful summer nights, my not-yet-born babies rocking,
But he stands by me when my sins come a knocking
And loves me like Jesus does.


My every shade of stress,
my broken pancreas,
Every single sugar check at 3 A.M.,
Yeah, he knows just what I'm not,
he forgives me when we've fought,
The devil, man, no, he don't stand a chance,
'Cause he loves me like Jesus does.

I always thought one day he'd have enough,
realize being part of my life was just gonna be too rough,
But I thank God each night, and twice on Sunday,
That he loves me like Jesus does.

My every shade of stress,
my broken pancreas,
Every single sugar check at 3 A.M.,
yeah, he knows just what I'm not,
He forgives me when we've fought,
And the devil, man, no, he don't have a prayer,
'Cause he loves me like Jesus does.

yeah, he knows just what I'm not,
He forgives me when we've fought,
That devil, man, he just has no power,
'Cause he loves me like Jesus does.

I'm a child's heart that by determined plans is spurred.

Spring Break: Cake Marathon, Oldie Moldies and Coffee Shop Bliss

This past week was filled with so many different activities that I do not even know where to start! As of right now, I am on Spring Break from work and I am enjoying lazy-pajama- coffee-mornings while catching up on some much needed housework, Pinterest musings, novel reading and TLC marathons. I have been home by myself for the past day and a half and although it is relaxing, I am greatly anticipating the trip down to Colorado Springs for Easter later on tonight. I have always been the kind of person who really does not prefer being alone, thus, getting married has been fantastic for my mental health.

This past weekend, to start off my Spring Break, we visited Haxtun as a sort of pre-Easter celebration. We got to spend more time than usual there, as my dear husband took Monday and Tuesday off for more family time and my birthday, respectively. On Saturday afternoon, I got the pleasure of attending a wedding reception complete with tie-dye cake for some good friends. This is piece one of my cake saga that has still not ended....because then on Saturday night, Jordan and I attended a town gathering called the "Chuckwagon" that was one of the most unusual and fun things I have ever done. We had a meal that included yet another piece of cake, I got to see Jordan's elementary/middle/high school all at once and we got to hear a suprisingly fantastic live band of elderly men playing oldie hits. The music included Bob Segar, Louis Armstrong, and the Temptations. I was in heaven with the music choice and walking around the school beforehand, looking at all the sports pictures of my hubby up on the wall was particularly delightful as well.

My third piece of cake for the weekend brings us to my first 23rd birthday celebration at my In-Laws house where we had the most amazing Oreo ice cream cake! The next morning, Monday, Jordan took me to the Haxtun Daily Grind, AKA the most adorable coffee shop I have ever set foot in. To my pleasant suprise, they had many choices of sugar-free coffee syrup (more than even Starbucks, actually), shelves of flavored coffee beans to scoop yourself, a small accessory boutique and ample table space. For those of you that are coffee shop connoisseurs as I am, the Daily Grind is perfect. It especially  reminded me of my favorite coffee shop in Laramie.

We headed home Monday afternoon and made it home by dinner time, following which, Jordan proceeded to make my second birthday cake. During the time that Jordan was making my cake, I learned something about myself. I can now fully admit that my name is Taylor Hagemeyer, and I am a baking control-freak. I started out just watching and gradually began to just ease the rubber spatula out of Jordan's hand until I got myself banished to the living room. I tried to intervene once again when he started "scrambling" the eggs by shaking them over his head like maracas....but I was unsuccessful at my attempts to leap over the kitchen/front room dividing line. Needless to say, the cake came out perfect, with the smoothest frosting I have ever seen and a top so level, only an engineer could have made it. My birthday came on Tuesday and was filled with several doctors appointents, car shopping and a little for fun shopping too. We went out to dinner, opened presents and ate my fourth piece of cake for the week, thankfully it's not like I have a chronic disease that prevents me from cake binging or anything.....oh wait, ha. All cakes considered though, my blood sugar has been quite perfect for the past few days which is a welcome change compared to breaks from routine in the past.

Tonight brings my 5th (or possibly 7th) piece of cake this week and my 3rd birthday celebration at my parent's house. Thankfully, I will not have a cake overdose because this cake is in the form of a cherry cheese pie! I am looking forward to spending 3 days with my family and celebrating Easter, perhaps the most important holiday out of all of them. I have now successfully unpacked our bag from our last adventure and repacked it for the coming one. I must say that packing just one bag for the two of us is secretly thrilling in a sappy newlywed sort of way. I suppose that is all for now....bring on the cake!

Used Cars and Sonic-Boom-Sneezes

We are now entering month two of wedded bliss and with the wedding gifts proudly displayed in our small apartment and the insurance tsunami of paperwork and phone calls finally curbed, we are quite enjoying a little quality routine time. As of late we have been looking for a used car to fill the category of a someday-family-car, right now not-too-pricy-car. Looking for a car is daunting and I can honestly say that the only looking I have been doing is over the kitchen partition with my hands full of dishes, dinner making, or something or other, while Jordan does all of the research and calls me over when something particularly exciting surfaces. For this, I truly appreciate him and I truly appreciate the ease with which we have already settled into our strength roles within our marriage.

One thing I have noticed in the process of looking for a car that is completely unrelated, is a little habit that my dear husband possesses that can only be described as borderline terrifying. I am referring to the habit that I shall henceforth call the "Sonic-Boom-Sneeze." It just so happens that when Jordan is sick with a cold, as he has been lately, he tends to sneeze repeatedly with an intensity that is only comparable to a jet engine taking off or a rocket ship re-entering the earth's atmosphere. I wish I was exaggerating, but believe me, these sneezes are not only loud, they are completely startling and catch me off guard every time. I find myself repeatedly flinching at the very loud and very sudden sound that can strike at any moment. I have yet to even see a pre-sneeze face to warn me, it just seems to go from silence or conversation directly to astounding decibel sneeze levels. I don't know whether to say "bless you" or to duck onto the floor and protect myself from an overhead meteor shower. I do think that both of us are beginning to get used to many of the other person's habits; however, I fear that the Sonic-Boom-Sneeze and I will never quite acclimate. 

On the topic of other habits, for example, Jordan understands with a feigned annoyance and more amusement, that I do have to leave multiple glasses of water around the house because I am often thirsty and cannot remember where I last left my glass. He has nicknamed me the "Signs girl" because of the little girl from the movie "Signs" who does the same thing and in the end saves her family from the aliens by dumping water on them. I have decided that the little quirks and habits that make us uniquely us keep life interesting and entertaining. And so what if I leave glasses of water everywhere? And so what if he can't hang up his towel or remember where he put his keys/wallet/phone even two mornings in a row? What's important is that we love each other and are figuring each other out....and if one of these times one of his ear-drum rupturing sneezes turns out to be an alien spacecraft landing on our rooftop instead, we will be armored with water glasses and ready to fight back thanks to me....

The Triumphs and Tribulations of Carpooling

Ah, marriage…..One of the best and worst things about being married is carpooling to and from work. We are blessed to work only a block from each other, so carpooling is obvious. It is the best in the morning because we get to ride together, I can do my make-up and drink coffee while he drives and all the while we save gas, car mileage, etc. On a side note, the application of make-up and the drinking of coffee are my dear husband’s two least favorite activities of mine. Throughout the duration of our traffic-filled mornings, I am repeatedly reminded that there is no reason for me to apply “that goop” to my face because in fact, I am beautiful and “ wasn't beat with the ugly stick” and that the “gut rot” I am drinking can only be one step short of sheer poison. These remarks usually just make me roll my eyes, laugh and give him points for truly caring about my self-esteem and my well-being. 

Okay now, back to carpooling…The mornings are great; however, it is NOT the best in the afternoons. Why? Because although it makes perfect sense to ride home together, since we are going to the same place, it saves gas and saves the environment or the whales and all that, I unfortunately have the task of waiting around from 3:30pm-5pm for Jordan to get done with work. Now don’t get me wrong, carpooling is an excellent idea and normally, I am extremely inventive at coming up with things to do while I wait until that magic five o’clock hour. I go shopping at Ross across the street, I go to Starbucks and apply for summer jobs or call my family and friends, I hang out in my “clubhouse,” AKA the third floor break-room at J’s work or I steal his gym key and workout on the second floor. The unfortunate thing is that when it is in fact blizzarding outside, I have blood sugar that is much too low to run, the internet is not working in my “clubhouse” and I have no spare change to spend on Starbucks at the moment…carpooling seems evil. Thus, I am writing about the joys and grumbles of married life on Microsoft word as I listen to the overly-obnoxious vending machine whir and look out at the snow, begrudgingly wishing that I could speed up time or take a nap. I plan to paste this into my blog when internet eventually becomes available again, or we go home. 

I suppose in life, and in marriage as I am always learning, you have to sometimes make sacrifices and do things that are not your favorite for the good of the “team.” So while this player on the team has to sit around and wait, the other player on the team works so hard for the money that provides for the former little grumpy player, which I guess means I should stop whining. Anyway, I’m looking out the window at the snow again and thinking Fettuccine Alfredo is in order for dinner tonight to cheer me up from my boring afternoon, and hey look, it’s already ten til five….

Week 4, Complete.

We have now successfully completed four weeks of being married! The apartment is slowly starting to look more like a home.....and less like a bachelor pad...shhhhhh! On the agenda for tonight is our first dinner hosted in our home for friends! I am so excited and so fulfilled cooking in my own kitchen for other people! The menu is spicy orange chicken over rice, spinach salad and brownie sundaes for dessert! I am finally old enough and wise enough to start making dinner, dessert and side dishes all at once WITHOUT setting off the smoke alarm...which is quite a relief because as of recently, our smoke detector was replaced with some sort of crazy robot type that very loudly and very startlingly says "Attention! There is a fire!" I only know this because a few days ago (when I was less old and less wise in the kitchen), I thought it would be prudent to burn pasta sauce just to check the new alarm. I will say in my defense, it only continued to burn because I was so startled and perplexed by the automated yelling coming from the ceiling, that my reflexes were quite stinted. I am thrilled that I have conquered the cooking for company challenge for tonight though, now we are anxiously awaiting their arrival!

Jordan and I spent the day unexpectedly browsing for used cars, finishing up our gift card shopping spree at Target and fighting bustling Walmart traffic for groceries. It seems that people in Colorado never get used to the snow, every time there is a rumor of snow, grocery store lines get packed with herds of people preparing for a winter-long hibernation in a matter of mere minutes. By the time we got home, we had just enough time to clean up the apartment, take a quick nap and even slip some TV time in before I had to start cooking. Overall, it was a productive and entertaining day. We finally are falling into a routine together and I absolutely love it. Anyway, that is all for now because I believe our company will be here any minute!

Week 3.

We have now comfortably settled into our 3rd week as newlyweds, with the luster of our Honeymoon week in the Bahamas swiftly dwindling as we start back up with work, snow, bills and real life. I am currently sitting on the floor on my computer behind Jordan, as he is at the desk on his computer looking for apartments closer to work/my graduate school (I hope). At this present time, the apartment is silent except for the thudding of the bass from our downstairs neighbor which we can ignore with mild annoyance now that we have just finished paying him back in a "duel of the thuds" with our after dinner Xbox-kinect tournament...Jordan won. The reason that it is silent is because I have learned in my increasingly numerous days of being a wife that Jordan cannot multitask when he is severely concentrating on something. So I am sitting here blogging, proud of myself for knowing with an absolute certainty that if I break the silence with anything more serious than "Do you want a snack?," his entire concentration trance will be broken, and thus, we will have to live in a van down by the river, for we will never find a new apartment....exaggeration on my part, yes, but only because we don't live even remotely near a river of any sort. Anyway, on the subject of things I have learned in almost 3 weeks of being married, I thought I would make a list.

1. Jordan likes to sleep in until the last possible second and cannot be bothered with any little peep of light, sound or even the thought of a hair dryer being turned on.
2. I seem to like to clean our bathroom with a vengeance but leave the dishes for later until they are a bit overwhelming.
3. Men have beards or whatever and have to trim them in the sink and they don't always, or possibly never, rinse the residual beard hairs down the drain.
4. Men can get ready in the morning at super-hero speed...just when I think that 7.5 minutes is not enough time to go from pajama-clad-sleepy man into super-ready-for-work man, I am always proved wrong.
5. Driving home together after work and realizing I really am HOME is the best feeling in the world.
6. We have NEVER EVER spent this much time together in all of our relationship and it is thrilling, exhausting and terrifying all at once...like a really impeccable roller-coaster.
7. I am way better at cooking than I thought, especially when I slow down and enjoy it.
8. I owe my mother an apology for ever making her do my laundry because even adding just one more person's dirty duds turns a mundane task into a loathsome afternoon.
9. I have truly married my best friend and cannot express how fun it is to stay up late talking and laughing hysterically until we cannot breathe.... needless to say I have picked up my caffeine addiction again.
10. Number 10 and clearly the most important on the list...I am the champion at xbox kinect boxing...and it makes him SO. MAD. haha

Well that is all for now, I will write again soon with any more wife wisdom I acquire in my oh-so-lengthy marriage. As for now, I am blissfully enjoying every moment of my new life with my amazing new husband. :)